the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to anyone ever.

Ok, Fine, you win, internet.

You see, with most of the wonderful and altogether eventful happenings of my life, I usually make a note of it in a journal to save for later. Very rarely does something happen that my first thought is literally "I have to blog about this." And today it happened.

Tomorrow morning we're heading off into the hills for a few days, so laundry is a priority for everyone. our one faucet stall was occupied when I woke up, so I sat my clothes in a bin and decided to go running while I waited. When I got back it was still occupied, this time by the pastor's wife, who had clearly set aside a better part of the morning to doing her own family's laundry. For a split second I showed that inevitable language-barrier-crossing look on one's face that seemed to say, "ohhhhhhh I'll be waiting a while.." So I went to my room and picked up my book, came back and sat down and started reading in hopes that when she finished I would be able to pounce upon the open faucet.

A few minutes pass. She finishes her current tub of soapy clothes, rinses it, and hangs it up to dry. Then she motions to me to seperate the shirts from the other clothes. I do so, and she starts hand-washing my laundry. And I have to admit that it took me a minute to compose myself and begin to pitch in, because that is the most beautiful, humble act of service anyone's ever done to anyone. Seriously, you guys, my dirty underwear is my own business, and she knows full well that I should be expected to clean it. But to her, that was completely beside the point. In the 20 minutes it took for us to scrub at my clothes, She talked in her broken english and I talked in my very broken thai about our families and about thailand and america and other little things about life. In general I've noticed that conversation isn't nearly about what is said as it's about the fact that to each of us, the events and people and places in our lives seem significant and important, and to care about those things in someone else means to care about the person that holds them.


I must admit that lately I've had to do a lot of thinking about why I'm here, and what the point is of me proclaiming myself a disciple when there's a part of me that feels completely incapable of doing so in a way that's actually effective. I do a lot of thinking about the net result of things, that what I'm currently doing isn't leading to grand large-scale sustainable solutions to vast and complex world issues. And in one sweeping gesture I've just been completely humbled of all of that. And it's teaching me to accept the present, to accept the natural frustrations that come about when there are so many barriers of culture and language and finances and uncertainty. Obedience is a hard lesson that I think I still have much work to do about, because part of obedience means I find myself doing things not knowing what it means or where this is going to. And there's growth in that, but the frustration remains. It sounds so cliche to say "God has a plan" because unless I can see it written out before me it's hard to really trust my intuition about God's will. It's what I've been fighting for a few days now, but it seems to be better now because of this one simple act, and what it implies:
While I want to know already the sense in everything that's happening in my life right now, written out in some scroll that only hindsight can bring, I am encouraged to move forward because of the fact that I'm learning so much. Not in sweeping humanity-spanning truths, but in the small wonders of a life made abundant by love. And that's enough for now, because it's the little things that keep happening, like God's way of saying "isn't there just something incredible here, hidden in the souls of humanity? I want you here, and I want you to keep digging at the mystery. What you'll learn is very important, and the love you'll find will change you."

"They found it was more fun doing laundry together, spending time together while they waited (which poor folks have known for a long time)." - Shane Claiborne.

It's my day off, so hopefully I'll scrounge up a few baht and post some excerpts from my journal. We shall see. Anyone who wants to contribute to the internet-cafe-blogging-fund can contact me via my facebook page.